Magic Nail, Wha You Wan?

There was this one time that I needed a Pedi ASAP, so I was calling all of the nail shops in town to see if I could get an appointment that day. All of my normal places were booked, so I had to branch out to another part of town. I call this one place, and the guy who answered the phone barks at me, "Magic Nail, wha you wan?" I was so taken back by his greeting, that I couldn't speak for a minute. After he said "wha you wan?" like six times, I was snapped back into reality and told him I needed an appointment for a pedicure. What kind of business answers the phone and says "wha you wan?"

OK, so flash forward a few years. A girl I work with sends me a YouTube video of this comedian making fun of nail shops. She had it down! The accent, what she said, everything. I still laugh at that one. it is so true, I don't think that the Asian nail shop people try to be rude, I think they just are and they make no excuses for it.

In California, nails are a lot cheaper to get done than they are in Utah. You can get a mani/pedi for like $15 in California, but it's like $35 in Utah. Probably the whole supply demand thing. So, everytime I visit my parents I like to go to the Mantrap Nail (just one!) up the street. This place has been there since I was in high school, and the same guy owns it. He is young, American born, and college educated, so I've often wondered what he's doing operating a nail salon. And then the last time I was there I figured it out. He is a nail pimp. There are like 20 Vietnamese ladies that work there. They all sit at their stations until he calls them over to take a client. And he barks at them in Vietnamese, and they run up to him with their heads down and then take the client back to their stations. After they're done, they hand their tips to him. He is rollin' in dough! I kind of feel guilty about going to a nail sweatshop for a mani/pedi, but then when I have an extra $20 in my pocket, I don't feel so bad about it, which is why I treated myself to a pedi and a full set at Thanksgiving.

I'm back here in Provo, and it's time for a fill. I didn't have time to go to my normal nail shop (the one that Marie Osmond goes to - yeah, I took her picture clandestinely with my cell phone), so I went to the mall by my work. I actually heard this conversation happen (just like in the YouTube video):

"You wan acylic er gel?"

"Uh, what?"

"You wan acylic er gel???"

"Um, I don't know what that is."

"You wan gel. It make yo nail sparkle like diamond in the sky."

"Oh, OK. I want gel."

"For you, only thirty-fi dolla more."

I had to hold in the laughter, so as to not get smacked by the man nail tech. He had already smacked me on the wrist with a nail file because I wasn't holding my hand the way he wanted it. While he was doing my fill, he says "you get nail done here last time?" I told him that I had it done in California. His response was, "They do bad job. Look at all this lifting." And then he smacked my wrist again because I wasn't holding it up right. Long story short, I didn't have time to stay and get my nails painted because I had to get back to work. I left and decided I was going to paint them myself at home. I did, and I did a craptastic job, so I needed to have it done again. But I couldn't go back to the same guy because I'm sure the guy would beat me to death with his industrial strength nail file for messing it up. luckily he wasn't there, so I went to a different lady and the first thing the lady said was "this a really bad nail, who do this to you?" So I told her that it was the other place in the mall, and then she started talking about how the girls who work there are a bunch of harlots (but she really said "hoebags").

Really, I get my nails done for the entertainment and not out of vanity. Hours of laughs after going to the nail shop. Check out the YouTube nail video.