You Heard it Here First

So maybe I'm giving myself too much credit with saying "you heard it here first," but I had these epiphanies whilst in the shower yesterday morning (all of my great thinking happens in the shower) and I thought I should post them instead of calling up everyone I know who watches Lost to tell them my theories.

So, we know that Daniel is a physicist and he has all sorts of knowledge about the island and the way that time travel works, presumably because he has been to the island before during future time travel episodes. OK. Maybe I just made that up, but it makes sense to me. During one of the time flashes, Daniel knocks on the door of the hatch to tell Desmond to contact his mom at Oxford. But mom's not at Oxford and no one has any record of Daniel Farraday, or his mother. I think that's funny since Daniel Farraday hadn't been gone that long. Whatev. And I think that Desmond couldn't find the mom, because Daniel is the illegitimate son of Charles Widmore, or maybe even Richard Alpert (that dude gives me the freak out), so mom has a different last name. Now, you might think I'm way out there by suggesting that Daniel Farraday is an illegitimate child of Widmore, but just hear me out.

We find out in the last episode that Widmore was on the island sometime in the 50's, and it seems like he may have been one of Ricky A's flunkies - at least he seems like he's trying too hard to impress Richard. So, it's established that Widmore was on the island. There's that one lady with the high pants and tank top, you know, the one who takes Daniel to disarm the bomb? Well, remember how Daniel was staring at her and she asked him why? His response was "you look like someone I know." Yeah, Dan! It's because she's your mom!

Keep following me. In last week's episode, there's the lady down in the basement of the church, sitting at the Dharma-looking computer, with all sorts of scientific instruments, including some kind of clock/locater thingy that swings with gravity and the turning of the earth (I think they have one of those things at the Eyering Science Center at BYU). Supposedly she found out that there's a 70 hour window for getting back to the island. And, given the fact that she was working on Dharma equipment, is in cahoots with Ben, is some sort of scientist, and is British, and Charles Widmore knew she was in LA (because we know that's where Ben is), she has to be Daniel's mom. Her age would suggest that she would be the right age, too. Actually, the curly hairstyle was what gave it away. Desmond is going to poop in his pants when he finds out that she's the lady who worked in the jewelry shop and wouldn't sell him the ring because it wasn't his destiny.

Did Daniel see "Back to the Future?" Because if he did, he would be following his own advice of "not changing stuff." I mean, I guess it was good and all that he told Desmond to find his mom, but he could seriously mess with his chances of being born if he keeps messing with the 1950's Dharma peeps. At least he was smart enough not to mess with the H-Bomb.

I'm not even close to figuring out who Jacob is, unless it's Jack's dad, but somehow I think that Jack's dad was a Dharma dude, too. He probably received his medical training on the island and speaks wicked good Latin.

And when Claire told Kate "don't you dare bring him back," how do we know that she was talking about Aaron? Jack also had that hallucination/dream/real life thing (I can't remember) where he was told "you're not supposed to raise him." We just assume that it's referring to Aaron, but I actually think it's about John Locke. He's dead. Ben wants to bring him back to the island, presumably to make him not dead anymore, hence "bring him back," "raise him."

We know from last season that Ben and Widmore hate each other, and with Widmore saying to Desmond "this doesn't involve either of you," I got from those words that Ben and Widmore were on the island together. Widmore is obviously a go getter, doesn't take no for an answer sort of dude. He probably aspired to be the leader of the Dharma-ers, but Jacob chose Ben instead. That's why Widmore is so TOd. He's not gonna take Jacob's no for an answer and he's gonna get that island for himself.

And Theresa, Tina, whatever her name is. We know that Widmore funded Daniel's time travel research projects, probably so he could find a way to get back to the island and kill Ben so that Jacob wouldn't choose him. How did Daniel know what was happening to Charlotte? It's because he was using Theresa in his experiments because the rats just weren't doin' it for him, and things went bad. Real bad. I bet he was also in love with Theresa. Man, he falls in love easily.

That's all I got so far. I need to watch the last two episodes again and then take a shower. I'll get back to you with what I figure out.

One last thing. Someone asked whether Desmond's kid was named Charlie after Charles Widmore (the kid's g-pa) or after Charlie (hey y'all everybody). It's the latter.

Ok. I do have one more theory. The people that are trying to take Aaron away from Kate are probably working for Sun. I know it sounds strange, but Sun is totally POd at Kate because she said she would get Jin, but she didn't, so now Sun wants to seek revenge and take something away from Kate that she loves. Sun said, "I don't blame you, you saw what needed to be done and you did it," but there was all sorts of manipulation and sneaky behind that comment. And I don't think that Jin and Michael are dead. It's just a gut feeling that I have.

Strange Dreams

My mom always told me that if you eat too late at night, especially chocolate, that you'll have funky dreams. I don't know that I ever noticed it, probably because I'm so hungry when I get home from work, that it never really gets to that point.

Anyway, I went to dinner with my friend, Tonya, last Friday night because we both have the same birthday and my husband was up in the woods throwing logs, starting fires, and dutch-oven cooking. I think they call that "camping." So, she came down here from Salt Lake and we went to Tucanos because I had a complimentary birthday dinner coupon and I love meat. We mostly went because I love meat. For those of you who are familiar with the dining situation in Provo on a Friday or Saturday night, you know that unless you go to dinner at 4:30 with the Senior Citizens, you're probably not going to get into a restaurant until at least 8. It was a little after 8 when we were finally seated, but for some reason the meat sword guys were avoiding our table. They must have thought "those are girls, and girls don't like meat, so they're probably here for the salad bar." Whatever! By the time I flagged down a meat sword guy, it was about 8:30. Needless to say, it was pretty late by the time we were finished.

I went home and was really restless as I was trying to sleep. It could have been that I was missing my husband (which I kinda did), or it could have been that there were a lot of sirens going off outside, and being that I live in the ghetto, I was a little scared. I finally fell asleep, but boy did I have an interesting dream.

In this dream, Ray Manzarek (he's the guy who played keyboards for The Doors) was telling me that Posh and David Beckham were getting divorced. I was so upset by this that I think I was actually crying in my sleep. I don't know why I was upset because that's just weird. Anyway Ray Manzarek, who's name was actually Pete in my dream, told me that he would cheer me up by playing a song on the keyboard for me. He played that really long section of "Light My Fire". Then my mom popped in and told me that the reason why that section of the song was so long and it was just music, was that Jim Morrison was so hopped up on goofballs that he couldn't remember the words. So if that's not weird enough, Eric D. Snider (he used to write a humor column for the BYU Daily Universe when I was a student there, and we were in some classes together in the communications department) comes in and says he wants to write a movie review on the film that I submitted to Sundance. Then he suggested that we should all go to Burger King (and by "all" I mean me, my mom, Ray "Pete" Manzarek, and Eric D. Snider). I think I ordered a Whopper, but that part is kind of fuzzy. While we were at the BK, B-Money (a Provo "rapper", who Rob thinks is actually special and so I shouldn't make fun of him anymore) walks in and starts rapping for us. Then Ray Manzarek whips out a little Casio keyboard and starts accompanying B-Money. Next thing I know, I told everyone that I had to go feed the cat before Rob got home and I was out the door. When I got to the house, Val Kilmer was at the mailbox picking up his mail and we exchanged some niceties and I went in to feed the cat. That's when I woke up and the cat was sitting next to my head and she was purring really loudly.

OK. So it was weird. But, I can explain all of it. Earlier that week, I saw something on TV about Posh and Becks. And then that same day I read a review of Sundance that Eric D. Snider wrote and he mentioned Ray Manzarek and Burger King in his review. When I was younger, I actually asked my mom why The Doors had such long sections in their songs with no singing, and she gave me the exact answer as what she said in my dream. And whenever I think of Burger King, I automatically think of B-Money. And I actually saw him walking down the street the other day with a Sony Discman in one hand and a stack of CDs in the other, and I thought to myself, "B-Money really ought to upgrade to an iPod." Val Kilmer played Jim Morrison in that movie about The Doors, so that's where he came from. And the cat, well, she was sitting next to my head purring loudly. In real life.

So I think my mom's advice about not eating late is something that I'm actually going to follow from now on. I didn't like my Tucanos-induced meat trip dream, and I don't want to have one again.

What are some of your strangest dreams? Enquiring minds want to know, so leave a comment.

Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent

I just had to post this gem that I saw on my good ol' friend Portah's blog. I've tried to explain this to people, but I just don't do it justice, so I figured she'd be OK with me posting it. Now, by popular demand, "Life Lesson: Always Check Your Kid's Homework."

When asked to draw a picture of what they wanted to be when they grew up, second-grader "Sarah" turned in the lovely drawing shown below. Needless to say, the teacher was a bit surprised -- Mrs. Smith had always seemed like such a conservative woman. So she sent a note home to the girl's mother asking for clarification as to the picture's meaning. Read mom's reply below the picture.
Here's the reply the teacher received the following day:

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

Forgive me Craigslist, for I have sinned.

Ever since we bought our awesome china cabinet on Craigslist, I got this great idea that we didn't have to give our crap to DI, but that we could actually get some money for it. When I was growing up, we never had garage sales or anything like that to get rid of junk, we just always gave it to DI. I don't know whay that was. Maybe it was a time constraint thing. Both of my parents worked and doing a garage sale probably took too much time. But secretly, I think it's because some of the uppity neighbors would have complained that it brought too much traffic to the street, or the wrong kind of traffic, if you know what I mean. Anyhoo, we just gave old stuff to DI.

After going to Craigslist and seeing all of the junk that people put on there and actually think someone else will buy, I decided that was the best idea ever. We put our old entertainment center on there and it was gone in about 2 hours. We sold our old, non-digital ready, 27" TV on there. I've listed a circa 1978 chandelier and some track lighting, but no one seems to want that. Normally, we would have taken all of this stuff to DI. So, last week we bought a new couch for our family room because it was time to get rid of the pink monstrosity that we were using as a couch. Really, it was just something to sit on. So, we debated about whether we could really sell it or whether it was a straight to DI thing. I decided that some sucker might buy it for $40. After almost a week, no suckers were interested so I lowered the price to $20. And guess what, a sucker called. All of the people that have inquired about our stuff are college-aged males, and so was this guy. He said that he wanted to come over and look at it, so we set up a time.

Last night, this guy and his child bride came over to take a look-see at the pink thing, and decided they wanted to buy it. I described the couch as having good upholstery and padding that was still in tact, but that it had some dirt on it. They decided that they could put a slip cover on it and it would be just fine. As they were carrying it out, I noticed a huge black strip of what I thought was dirt on the back, when I realized that it was actually a ton of cat hair. I also noticed that some of the fabric had ripped in the back. I almost stopped them so that I could lint roll the cat hair off, and to point out the ripped fabric, but I didn't. I just took their money and let them walk out the door. I'm terrible. But, I did mention that it was sold as is, and really it is the burden of the buyer to check things out before they purchase, right? I still feel really bad about it.

Change

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. - The 12th Article of Faith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I did not vote for Barack Obama, but I will support him as President of the United States.

Having said that I did not vote for him, and would rather have had someone else in office, I couldn't help but to become emotional as I watched the inaugural proceedings. I live in the best country in the world! A country where I have the right and priveledge to vote for whom I please, the right to practice my religion, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I am grateful for those who have gone before me who gave their lives in protection of the freedoms that I now enjoy.

I appreciate George Bush's service to our country. I think that he is a good man, but due to a lot of difficult things that happened during his presidency, he's been given a bad rap. I think people, especially the media, need to be reminded that this country operates on a system of checks and balances so that no one branch of the government has complete power. People are looking for a scapegoat to blame for this country's problems and George Bush is it.

Change is good. Hope is good. And I hope that Barack Obama can be a force for change in this country.

OK. I couldn't let this post go by without just mentioning this part of the Inauguration. Rev. Lowery's benediction. Did he really just say "....help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right."

A Chip Off the Old Block

This is my nephew, Tyler (kim's little boy). He decided to welcome his Aunt Stacy home from her trip to Boston with a ban from the bathroom. What I want to know is, who told him how to spell "business?" That's a big word for a 5 year old.

10 Things I Hate About Me

I heard it through the grapevine that Heather wanted people to write 10 quirky things about them on their blogs, but since she didn't tag anyone in particular I took that as a "get out of jail free" card. Well, I'm gonna pass go and collect $200 on this one. Here it goes...

1) I do not like feet. I pay someone else to pedicure mine, and I don't like touching anyone else's. I did rub my husband's feet the other day, but I could handle that because he doesn't have calluses and I know where his feet have been.

2) I'm afraid of ear wax. Well, I'm not afraid of it, but it really grosses me out. I had to stand behind this kid in the lunch line for all of 2nd grade and he had the worst ear wax of any individual I've ever known. I was afraid that if I got too close I would catch it. I clean my ears out excessively because I don't ever want ear wax creeping out of my ears. Last week in church I sat behind this old guy who had a clump of ear wax stuck to the hair growing out of his ear and I almost got up in the middle of church and moved.

3) I eat too much cheese and I don't drink enough water.

4) I don't like Jazz music. It makes anger build up inside of me.

5) I will not use body soap to wash my face in the shower. I know where that soap has been and I don't want it anywhere near my face. I had a discussion with my friend Allison about whether soap cleans itself, and even if it does, I won't wash my face with body soap.

6) I hiccup every morning when I get out of bed.

7) I smell laundry to see if it's clean or dirty. I've smelled some pretty bad laundry.

8) Whenever I see a bad driver on the road, I always assume they're either old or Asian. I'm correct 99% of the time.

9) No matter how painful, I will never pass gas in public. I just can't bring myself to do it.

10) If I see someone at the store or something, and I don't want to talk to them, I will pretend to be really intent on reading a label, or I'll go the other direction to avoid talking to them.

G'day, Mate!

I think that Crocodile Dundee just crossed the street in front of me. He was jay-walking. He was wearing a John Deere hat and cowboy boots, but I'm pretty sure it was Crocodile Dundee. This doesn't happen every day in Provo, UT. Every so often you spot various Osmonds or someone that was in High School Musical (not that I ever watched that show), but it's not very common to see famous people. Back in LA I would see famous people all of the time. I saw Val Kilmer and that one lady who dated Ellen DeGeneres for a while at the airport. There was also this one time that I waved at Pres. George H.W. Bush's limo as it drove down Sepulveda Blvd. I'm pretty sure he waved back, but the windows were dark so I couldn't really tell. I digress. What was Crocodile Dundee doing in Provo? My guesses are that he couldn't get a room in Park City for the Sundance Film Festival, so he has to crash in the Provo Marriott. It's just a guess. Or maybe it wasn't even Crocodile Dundee. Maybe it was just some homeless guy.

XX or XY

My friend Mallory taught me this game called XX or XY, where you try to guess the gender of gender ambiguous people out in public. I don't really get to play this game very often, except for maybe every once in a while at the Springville Wal-Mart.

Today at work, one of my co-workers gave me the opportunity to play the game. She sends me this email with a link to an article and asks me, "do you think this editor is a guy or a girl?" I open up the link and my first impression is that it is a woman. A woman with an ambiguous Mullet-like haircut, but looks like a woman because of the business suit she's wearing... or is that a man's oxford shirt. I just couldn't tell. So before I emailed my co-worker back, I decided to do a little Internet investigation to see if I could ascertain the person's gender before I got back with a verdict.

Ususally, magazine Web sites will have a bio page of all of the authors and editors, where pronouns such as "he" or "she" are often used to describe the individual. Did this magazine have a bio page? No, it did not. Strike one! My next resource was a PR database thingy we use at work that lists a lot of contacts for different media organizations. Usually, before the individual's name, there is a prefix like "Ms." or "Mr." Out of every editor and author at this magazine, this person was the only one without a title in front of it's name. Which brings me to this... the person's name. It's Layne. That could be a guy or a girl.

I'm at a loss. I peek my head up over the cube and whisper to my co-worker, "probably a woman. A very manly woman, but probably a woman." She stands up and says to me, that's what I thought, but I called it on the phone and it sounds like a man. That just adds more confusion. My grandmother, may she rest in peace, sounded like a man on the phone because she had chronic bronchitis. Another co-worker often gets mistaken for a teenage girl on the phone. He is an adult man. So, you never can tell. We had a few good laughs about "It's Pat" and then both sat back down in our cubes. But the thing is, it's been bothering me all day. XX or XY?

I'd post a picture and do a poll, but I don't want to jeopardize my employment or the reputatation of my company. I'll e-mail you a picture if you just can't stand it.

Husband Tag

I was tagged by Christine to answer some questions about my husband. BTW - the picture to the left is the one that Mark took with his cell phone and said, "wanna go on a date with this guy?"

Rob's 5 Favorite things that he loves:

1. Me

2. Popcorn

3. World of Warcraft

4. Whole milk

5. Rich Dad - Robert Kiyosaki

5 Things on His T0-do list

1. Move his bike into the back room

2. Switch from a Thursday to a Tuesday class

3. Get out of the rat race

4. Buy his wife a birthday present

5. Look at 100 investment properties

5 Snacks he loves

1. Popcorn w/butter

2. Nuts

3. Popcorn w/yeast flakes and butter

4. Lorna Doones

5. Popcorn w/caramel

The man loves him some popcorn!

5 Facts you may not know

1. He served a mission in New England

2. He went to the FBI Academy... once, to use the bathroom. J/K! he got sent there for work to do some stuff to their shooting targets.

3. He cooks wicked good

4. He doesn't like to drive

5. He's the Unit Commissioner for the Scouts in our stake

5 Places he has lived

1. Orem, UT/Provo, UT

2. Massachusetts

3. Maine

4. New Hampshire

5. Vermont

5 Quirky things about him

1. He rotates his socks in the drawer so they get worn evenly and will all need to be replaced at the same time

2. He watches movies with the subtitles on

3. He likes to drink milk out of a metal cup

4. He reads instructions

5. He always rolls up his long sleeves, except for Sunday when he's wearing a white long-sleeved shirt to church.

5 People I Tag

1. Heather L.

2. Robyn C.

3. Stormy

4. Karen D.

5. Becca

I've Won!

Holly, from If I were Really Skinny, nominated me for a major award. I've never heard of it, so I don't actually know how major it is, but it's major to me because I've never won an award before! Except for Student of the Month in the 4th grade. And all I got was a gift certificate for a free ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, but there wasn't even a Dairy Queen in our city so that award pretty much meant nothing to me. This award recognizes blogs who show great attitude and gratitude. I knew I had an attitude... j/k! It's called the Lemonade Award because when life hands you lemons... you know the rest. Anyway, thanks, Holly! I feel so priveleged.

1. Thank the person who was so thoughtful for giving you this award by linking their blog to this post.

2. Put the logo on your blog or post.

3. Nominate 10 blogs which show great attitude/gratitude.

4. Link your nominee to your post.

5. Comment them to tell them about the award they've won.

I nominate:

1. Esperanza

2. Jim and Becky

3. John and Becca

4. Life with Mark and Kristin

5. Melissa

6. The Deckers

7. The McCarthas

8. Thoughts About Nothing

9. The McDaniels

10. Stirling Family

Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week!

I don't know what that means, but I do know that I love 30 Rock! I can't believe that I am so late in jumping on the bandwagon for this brilliant show. I spent my Christmas vacation watching season 1 (thank you Netflix!) and now I'm waiting for a better Internet connection so I can start season 2. I was hoping I could get caught up, but, alas, I didn't have the time to do it all in 1 week.

I wanted to post pictures of some of my favorite moments, but Blogger isn't letting me download photos right now.