Smart Cookie/Not a Smart Cookie

Yum-a-dum-dum! I love Smart Cookie. http://www.smartcookiecompany.com/

I do not love Clay Aiken. I heard about this on the Today show, but I don't believe anything that comes out of Kathy Lee's mouth so I did a little research and it looks like it is true. Get the scoop below.

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=316501&GT1=7702

Blog Stalking

I recently found out that someone I marginally know has been blog stalking me for the last few months. I felt a little weird about it, being that I don't know this person all that well. And then I thought, "who am I kidding? I do the same thing." In fact, I blog stalk someone who I've never met but just heard of and I am tempted to leave commentary on their blog every stinkin' time I read it. Why? Because I feel like they need my advice on how to live their life. I don't find this person particularly interesting or anything, but they seem like they have some weird things happen to them because of the choices they make. I think I'm turning into Dr. Phil. He just showed up in Britney's hospital room and said "I'm gonna whip you into shape if it's the last thing I do," and I want to do the same thing with this individual that I blog stalk. Unfortunately, their blog doesn't accept anonymous comments.

I'm just going to have to create a new blogger identity so I can leave semi-anonymous comments on blogs that I stalk.

So You Think You Can Drink

Last night I went over to my friend Heidi's house for a viewing of my favorite summer show, "So You Think You Can Dance." This show is awesome, but this post will not be dedicated to discussing the awesomeness of the show. What I want to talk about first is the Salt Lake auditions. Quel embarrassing! I feel as if the editors chose every weirdo in the state to feature, except for maybe the girl whose mother was the "High School Musical" choreographer.

First off, mom of four? You've got to be kidding me! I just hope that when I get married my husband will love me enough to be 100% honest and say, "honey, I didn't marry you for your dancing ability. Please do not go on national television and bring shame and dishonor to this family." And then there was the floating pants lady who was obviously in a world of her own. I feel bad for her. Really bad. And then the guy who is a strip club DJ. I don't know much about DJing, but something tells me that strip club DJing is probably not all that prestigious among the DJing community. He could have just said he was a DJ. And speaking of strip clubs, I didn't even know that Utah had any strip clubs. My guess is that it's in West Valley or Taylorsville. The thing is, I know that Utah has some amazing dancers. Why couldn't they show the really amazing, normal dancing people? I would have appreciated seeing some cloggers, because cloggers rock!

I know that I am going to offend at least 3 people who read my blog by saying this, but I don't care. I have never professed myself as being politically correct. After watching the auditions last night, I can see why the rest of the country calls people from Utah "Utards." The name totally fits. And the ironic thing is that the guy with Downs Syndrome was probably the best guy that tried out. I loved him!

OK, so I vented about how badly Utahns were portrayed. Now I want to talk about judge Mary Murphy. I think she hits the sauce. Hits it liberally and frequently. There's just something not right about her and I think it is due to alcohol. Last night, someone in the group pointed out that she brought out a flask as the camera shifted away from her. I have a suspicion that it wasn't Gatorade. If you look at her mouth in the picture above, it never changes expression. All teeth, all the time. I think it's a direct result of drunkenness. I want to start a Facebook group called "There's Something About Mary... and It's Probably the Booze." This group will be dedicated to intervening on Mary's behalf to get her into AA or some other 12 step program. She's in LA and my parents are group facilitators for an addiction recovery program down there. Maybe they can help. Let's all help Mary!

I know this post is a rambling one, but I just had to get all of the trauma of last night's episode off my chest. I think that in order to preserve my sanity, I can't watch the show until we're past the auditions. I can't handle watching other people embarrass themselves and I can't handle the judges being "way harsh" on them. Wake me up when the auditions are over.

Thoughts on a Tuesday Afternoon

My co-worker and I have decided that short weeks are worse than 5-day work weeks. Why? Because the first day of the week is Tuesday and it is much worse than any Monday has ever been. I don't know about anyone else, but I stayed up way too late last night and then rolled out of bed this morning and stumbled into work. I had so much back-log to take care of, a gazillion emails, and on top of that I just didn't want to work. I broke one of my rules and had a Diet Coke this afternoon (it's a good thing that Diet Coke guy left one for me) and now I have heartburn. But at least I was able to stay awake during a super boring teleconference and a meeting that followed directly after. It was a toss up - staying awake and possibly having heartburn or falling asleep and embarassing myself. I'll take pain over humiliation any day.

I think I need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

Go ahead, make my day!

There was a post on "Stuff White People Like" recently that talked about how white people live to find grammatical and spelling errors. I can't speak for my other white brothers and sisters, but I know that I sure do. I was reading CNN this morning, catching up on the daily news, when I came across this error:

"More than 100 children escaped injure when workers at the Windmill Daycare hustled them to a bank across the street, where they rode out the storm in the bank's vault, CNN affiliate KUSA-TV of Denver reported."

The thrill I feel is even more amplified because the mistake was made by a major news outlet! Yes!

To read the original post, go to http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/. It's #99.

Right place, right time

For the first (and probably the only) time in my life, I caught the bouquet in the bouquet toss at my friend Emily's wedding. Some may say I threw punches and elbows to get it, but I really think it was just because I was taller than all of the other girls there. Actually, that's not true. Jenny is the same height as I am. I think it just came right to me. My rommate says it was my density (destiny to all of you non-BTTF watchers). Anyway, I was really excited so I let out a huge scream when I caught it. And now I have it as a souvenir of my once-in-a-lifetime good luck. I like to say that I catch everything but money, men, and bouquets and now I can scratch two of those off the list.

Oh, thank heaven...

For M.A.C.s Studio Fix powder/foundation, color NC30! I woke up with a terrifically huge zit on my face this morning and then burned my neck with my metal round brush while blow drying my hair. Normally, I can handle things like this... when they don't happen on the same day, which happens to be the day that my friend is getting married! I'm the maid of honor and I know I'll be in lots of pictures, so it's a little tragic. I have a mountain on my face and a burn on my neck that looks suspiciously like a hickey, what is a girl to do?

M.A.C. Studio Fix to the rescue! This powder/foundation has such awesome coverage that it covered the redness from both the zit and the burn. Hallelujah!!! Now I won't look like The Wreck of the Hesperus for my friend's big day; however, my hair could be another thing ;)

I highly reccomend any M.A.C. product, especially the Studio Fix. It's kind of pricey, but it lasts a long time and it is really good quality. And if you save 5 of the empty compacts, you can get a free lipstick. Isn't that nice?

I don't like Jack Johnson

I have decided that I don't like Jack Johnson anymore. Maybe it's because I'm burned out... when I listen to my iPod on shuffle, every other song is a Jack Johnson song. Maybe because I hear his songs so often, I listen to the lyrics more and and I am just not impressed. I'm taking all Jack Johnson songs off of my iPod unless someone can give me a really compelling reason to keep them on there.

In other news, it is HOT in Provo. I am a little miffed that we seemed to go straight from Winter to Summer and skipped Spring altogether. What's up with that? Yesterday was near 90 and today is supposed to be near 95. I just don't know if I can go an entire summer with this weather. I'm pretty sure that it was so hot in my house last night that my blood neared boiling temperatures, and I was sweating so bad that I had to wash my sheets this morning. For real. But it's OK because I was up at 5am, so I had time to do a load of laundry. I don't like hot weather. I'm convinced that I'm like a chocolate bar. Nice, creamy, and sweet when the temperatures are mild. But then when it gets hot I get all melty and runny and cause problems for everyone. I hope that my boyfriend will still love me at the end of the summer.

Speaking of my boyfriend, he is still awesome! Yesterday was our 1 month anniversary and I still can't believe that a blind date could turn out so amazingly. A lot of you have been asking for pictures so I took a picture with my camera phone, but I don't look so hot in it... I won't be posting any pictures where I don't look hot. Hopefully we can snap some great pics this weekend. I've also had requests to hold a meet n' greet at my casa where all of my friends can meet him. Stay tuned for date and time.

So long, farewell...

As some of you may know, my dear grandmother passed away last Monday. Grandma Dee had been sick for a while, but thankfully it wasn't a long time. It was always her fear that she would have to be cared for by her family for a long time, just like her own mother who had a stroke in her 80s and lived well into her 90s but was completely bedridden the entire time. Grandma Dee was only really ill for a few months, but it was a blessing for her to go because she was in so much pain.

I loved Grandma Dee very much. Since she lived next door, I saw her every day growing up. Not only was she my grandmother, but she was a good friend. I'm so glad that I could spend as many years with her as I did and will remember her always.

My grandma was always really nosey, looking in windows, spying on neighbors from her living room, and asking tons of questions. I'll miss that, but know that she'll still be spying on me from heaven. I hope she likes what she sees!

They're Ronald Reagan's Favorite Treat

And apparently, they are the snack of choice for my Diet Coke guzzling co-worker. I love the picture above because this is what his desk looks like. I didn't take the picture, it just popped up during a Google search for Jelly Bellies. On Monday DCG brought in one of the above, Costco-sized container of Jelly Bellies. The container was full then, it is now almost empty like the above container. And the worst part of it is that he pours the beans into a smaller glass dish, making this crazy loud sound that echoes throughout the office. He does this about 3 times a day. At first, I thought "who is pouring nails into the trash can, and why?" And now that I know what he is up to, I just get annoyed.

So not only am I annoyed by Diet Coke guy, I also feel bad for him. We had an office potluck today, and both DCG and I brought desserts. I brought these pretty little pink cupcakes that look like they were made by Ina Garten, and DCG brought some sort of pie-like substance. I say pie-like, because I'm not actually sure that it was pie. If given the choice, you would choose the cupcake. And everyone did choose a cupcake. We have a partner that is so skinny that if she were to turn sideways she'd disappear, and even she ate one of my cupcakes. I'm sure she only allows herself sugar on 3 occasions during the year: Christmas, Thanksgiving, and 1 day of choosing. I feel privileged that she chose my cupcake for sugar day #3. No one ate DCG's pie. Maybe if he sprinkled some Jelly Bellies on it...

Clumsy

I think there's something wrong with me. Last night I came home from the temple around 8pm. I pulled into the garage but didn't shut the door behind me because I was going to put my stuff in the house and then go out to the curb and bring in the trash can. I got in the house, put down my stuff, and then my phone rang. I finished talking, locked the front door, turned off all of the lights and shut the blinds, and then went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Flash forward to this morning. I hear the garage door open and then I heard the front door slam. I went downstairs to see what was going on and the garage door was closed. But then I heard some strange noises coming from either upstairs or my neighbor - I couldn't tell. I called my roommate just to be sure that it was her and not someone else.

I got a voicemail from her later in the morning and she said that she shut the garage because it was open when she left the house this morning. I left it open last night, along with the door from the garage into the house, and left my car unlocked. I also had my purse with my wallet and car keys just sitting on the couch. What was I thinking? I guess I wasn't thinking!

I feel clumsy, like the Fergie song of the same name.

The Tide pen does not work. And it smells like belly-button. Do not buy it. The End.

The Latest and Greatest

So I know that a lot of you have been dying to know how the blind date I blogged about a few weeks ago went. It went nothing like the foreboding episode of The Office the night before, for which I am glad.

First of all, I have to give a shout out to my friend Mark for setting us up. I was a little worried because Mark likes everyone and I didn't know what I was coming up against, but kudos to him for setting me up with such a wonderful man.

Our first date was pleasant... he was polite, respectful, kind, chivalrous, but most of all I could tell that he was a truly decent person. Actually, decent is too benign a term... he was more than decent. I could tell that he had a good heart and that he was righteous. I could see light eminating from him, which is why I said "we should do this again sometime" when he dropped me off. Who knew that those 6 words would get an unstoppable ball rolling! Since April 19, we have seen or talked to one another pretty much every single day except for two - the day after our date and the Wednesday after.

After knowing each other for only two and a half weeks, we are officially dating and very happy to be with one another. Who knew? Not me, that's for sure.

I know this sounds kind of like an advertisement for blind dates, and it kind of is. I would encourage those of you who are single to embrace the blind date. I know a lot of happy couples who have met that way.

I don't have any pictures, but as soon as I do I will post some. He's quite handsome... and fortunately, I'm not the only one who thinks so. I've always wanted to date someone who was universally good looking, much like I am ;)

So thanks to all of you for your well wishes, and especially for your prayers. Hillary Clinton likes to say that it "takes a village" to raise a family, but I like to think it takes a village to get one started... putting two people together, I mean ;) Through this whole experience, the one thing that has been abundantly clear to me is that Heavenly Father does listen to and answer our prayers. Robert has been an answer to mine in so many ways.

Don't get too excited for me yet, though. Afterall, we have only known one another for two and a half weeks!

Project Runway's Tim Gunn Chimes in on Polygamist Fashion

OK... I know it's almost like I'm beating a dead horse, but I just can't get enough of this. This little video clip of Mo Rocca interviewing Tim Gunn is HI-larious!

http://news.aol.com/newsbloggers/2008/04/30/tim-gunns-guide-to-polygamist-style/