I'm Back!

OK, so having a baby rocked my world in a way that I just hadn't anticipated. I'm just going to say right now that nursing was difficult, I was in pain from an undiagnosed gall stone, and I had post-partum depression that I refused to acknowledge for almost 6 months. I felt crazy and sad all of the time, and lo and behold, I was. I have Zoloft and a very patient husband to thank for pulling me out of the rut I was in. Oh yeah, and I don't have a gall bladder anymore. Life is better.

I guess I feel a need to explain the absence from writing on my blog in order to start over and begin a new precedent for what I want to accomplish on my blog. One of the many reasons I took almost a year's hiatus is because I felt very vulnerable to comments that were sometimes harsh and hurtful - not only on my blog, but also on the blogs of others. The Internet isn't a wall we can hide behind as we hurl nasty comments at others. If you wouldn't dare say it to a person's face, don't write it on the Internet. And I'm saying that for myself just as much as I am others. Until now, I haven't been thick-skinned enough to handle opening myself up to others in the way I had before. Granted, there isn't much I wouldn't say to a person's face... and believe me, I've said some doozies, but from now on, I am going to write my blog as a form of personal and family history.

I want to keep friends and family informed about what Rob, Maggie and I are doing as a family, and also keep a record for myself and my posterity. Since I was once told at a scrapbook party that I could "start my page over again," I've steered clear of anything involving paper, scissors, and glue. A blog is a perfect way for me to include pictures as well as the written word. I will still write about random stuff that happens to me and insert my opinions here and there, but I'm going to refrain from posting things about people I know who hoard and/or who don't treat their kids well, and other stuff that just doesn't need to be said. I know a lot of people like that, so it kinda reduces the amount of material I have to draw from. But I will get along.

Rob and I were very careful about posting pictures of Maggie for a long time, but I feel OK about it now. One thing that I do ask is that if you see a picture of Maggie that you just can't live without, and want to grab it from my blog, please ask permission before doing so. And please ask before you re-post or link from my blog. I know I can only protect our privacy so much if I'm posting things on a non-private blog, and that has been one of my biggest concerns with blogging since Maggie has been born, but I don't want to go private because I have friends and relatives that don't know what Google is and wouldn't know how to access a private blog if it hit them in the face.

The last year has been difficult. I learned things about people that I didn't want to know. I've seen things that have destroyed lives and families, and I have had to rethink my relationships with people in order to provide my family with the things I hope for them, and protect them in the process. I won't go into details, but the last year has been emotionally draining, and I felt like I wanted to write about these things on a blog but couldn't because A) Nobody likes a whiner; B) I was trying not to dwell on the bad; C) I needed to separate my family from some people and keeping myself off of the Internet was one of my ways of doing that. And don't worry, if you're reading this blog right now, you're probably not one of the people we needed a separation from.

Maggie keeps me on my toes, so I can't guarantee that I will blog daily. I will however, catch upon what Maggie has been doing the last year and then keep it up. Right now she's standing by me and slapping my leg. She wants me to get up and play with her. And so I will.