Am I really doing this?

Everyone's doing it, so I guess I should. Right? I'm not really sure how all of this works, but all of my friends post cute stories about their kids or their pets. Since I have neither, I'll post a funny story about my nephew.

I was visiting my family in Los Angeles last weekend and spent a lot of time with my future stand-up comdedian nephew. He was walking out of the kitchen mumbling to himself something like this..."my grandma has diarrhea, my aunt has diarrhea, my dog has diarrhea..." and then he looks up at me and says, "do you have diarrhea, too?" I responded "no, I'm good." And then he kept walking, listing all of the people he knows who have diarrhea. I'm not so sure he knows what diarrhea is because everyone he knows, including pets, has it. What on earth goes through his little 4 year-old mind?

So now that I've posted the mandatory kid/pet story, I'll tell you about my awesome new job. Most of you know that I recently made a career move into Public Relations. It was everything I hoped it would be until last Friday. I sent an email to an editor at Magazine Which Should Not be Named, asking a question about a particular column. I got this response:

"Dear Madden,

The column you are asking about has been discontinued and was replaced by BTW 6 months ago. If you had bothered to pick up a copy of our magazine, you would have known that. So here's a tip for the future: read the magazine before you bother me with any questions.

Thx.

Hero"

What? Madden? I didn't know that he and I were tight like that. And then I looked at his signature... his last name was Scottie. I called him Scottie. I totally offended him! But, if you live in America and your name is Hero Scottie someone is going to get confused and call you Scottie. You just need to accept and move on. The End.