My Run-in With the Feds

I got a phone call yesterday from a man who said he worked for the FBI and that he needed to ask me some questions about someone I know. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't get these kinds of phone calls every day. OK, I don't get these kinds of phone calls ever! So, as you can imagine I was more than cooperative in clearing my schedule to talk to this guy.

And then I started getting a little scared, because after talking to a few people, they said that maybe this guy wasn't legit because the FBI doesn't make appointments, they just find you and come to your house. I was shaking like a leaf when I finally met this guy. He turned out to be completely legit, with a badge and his credentials with the title 'Special Agent" on it. I was a little disappointed because he looked more like Mack Wilberg than Agent Mulder. We sit down and he tells me that the reason for his visit is because the individual in question was applying for a job within the FBI and in order to get Top Secret security clearance, he had to have an exhaustive background check done. He told me that he's talking to pretty much everyone this individual has ever known in his entire life.

He began the interview by telling me that if I lied about anything he asked me that I could be prosecuted. Scary! He then asked me if this person had any addictions or perversions that I knew of, whether he had money problems, family problems, terrorist connections, or had ever been out of the country. He also asked me if this person had ever lied to me. I wish I had some exciting answers for him, but I only worked with the guy for a few years, and as far as I could tell, the only questionable thing about him was that he really liked to play McDonald's Monopoly so he ate lunch there every day.

My exciting story ended up not being exciting at all. But at least now I can say that I've been interrogated by the FBI if I ever play that 2 truths and a lie game.