I'm an all-you-can-eat buffet!

It's been quite a while since I've blogged. From my blogger surveys, I know that blog readers don't like it when bloggers don't post regularly without an excuse. So here's my excuse, and I think it's a pretty good one. I'm pregnant. 'Nough said, right? My brain doesn't function normally right now - it's a condition called "Pregnancy Brain." I know this because that's what my doctor told me. I seem to forget everything. About a month ago, I got a call from the girl who does my eyebrows and she said, "You missed your appointment. Is everything OK?" Yeah, I guess everything is OK. I just completely forgot. And have you ever had those dreams where you have a test/paper due, and you forgot to do it? That happened to me, too. And on the same day I forgot about a test, I got a phone call from a friend's kid who sells knives saying, "I'm just calling to confirm my appointment with you, is 4 still OK?" That one really had me because usually once someone reminds me that I've forgotten something, it all comes back to me just like Celine Dion says in that one song. But this time, it didn't all come back to me. I think he was the confused one and not me.

So I have to say "Bravo!" to every pregnant woman who has been able to keep things together during her pregnancy and live a somewhat normal life. I haven't been able to do that. And I've felt a lot of guilt about it. I can't keep up with things like I used to be able to, and the smallest thing like doing the laundry has become a major chore. We finally got rid of the cat and decided to de-cat our bedroom first. We washed every surface in there and vacuumed everything. After we were done, I needed 2 days to recover. That's not normal for me. I don't think that's normal for anyone. And then after that whole thing, I ended up being put on bedrest because my blood pressure was so high. And for some reason, the bedrest stressed me out even more since I only had 3 weeks of school left. I was cleared to be off bedrest by my perinatologist, with the order to continue tracking my blood pressure at home and to monitor myself for things like severe swelling, headaches, nausea, and pain in the upper right abdomen. So far, the BP has been cooperating at home. It's just when I go to the doctor that it's high.

After I thought I was through with the bed rest thing, I had to go take my glucose screening test. I failed. I had to take the glucose tolerance test next. I hope to never have to do that again because it was the most awful thing I had ever experienced. Until the next day, when I woke up with a searing pain in the rear. Robert took one look at it and said we needed to go to the hospital right then. So we did, and it was an abcess and it had to be surgically dealt with. Even with numbing, the pain it caused was worse than a kidney stone. I cried and screamed, and the doctor just kept saying, "Just let it all out, cry if you have to." I'm glad I had his permission, but at that point I didn't think I needed it. The crazy thing about it was that Robert had an abcess back in June and I laughed at him when he acted like he was going to die. Now I know that he really thought he was going to. Even after we got back from the doctor, my whole body started to hurt and I came down with a really high fever that night. That was scary because I wasn't able to feel the baby move during that time. We went back to the doctor as soon as we could, and they gave me some antibiotics and let me listen to the baby's heart. I felt better after that. So I guess the moral of the story is not to laugh at your husband's pain because it might just turn around to bite you back. And abcesses aren't even contagious.

One thing I'm learning not to think or say is "it can't get any worse than that," because it can and often will get worse. My results came back from the glucose tolerance test and I failed that as well. I have gestational diabetes. For the baby, that means that she is at Chuck-a-rama 24 hours a day. There's too much sugar in my blood and it is going straight to her hips, thighs, and butt. Or I should say that it can. The biggest danger is that the baby gets too big and comes too early with underdeveloped lungs, or that she stays in me for the full term and becomes a giant 12 pounder. In that case, a vaginal delivery might not be an option. She could also have problems regulating her own blood sugar once she is born and the Chuck-a-rama kicks her out. For me, the danger is that if I don't control my blood sugar that the diabetes would stick around even after the baby is born. Gestational diabetes can also lead to toxemia. So it's no good for any of the parties involved, really.

I've been hooked up with a blood sugar monitor and am testing 4 times a day. The diabetes nurse was really hoping that my diabetes test gave a false result since I had the abcess and an infection, but after monitoring for a few days, it doesn't look like that's the case. I'm able to keep my blood sugar really low during the day, but after dinner it goes up way high and stays that way during the night. Physical activity helps, but it doesn't seem to be making too much of a difference at night. It is possible that I just need to eat on a more regular schedule so that my body can anticipate when I will be eating and start producing insulin to get ready for the food. I'm finding that it's a lot of trial and error in seeing how my body reacts to different foods and different activities. I hope that I'm able to control my blood sugar with diet and exercise alone, but as the baby gets bigger, it gets harder for me to move.

Along with feeling guilty about not being as spry as I once was, I feel guilty for all of these problems that have cropped up during pregnancy. I feel like I can't even do what I was created for and that I'm already a bad mother even though the baby isn't born yet. I keep thinking that if only I were younger, skinnier, and didn't like brownies so much that I wouldn't be having these problems. My doctor says that my genetics are playing a bigger role than anything else because he has young, skinny moms that have high blood pressure and diabetes and heavier moms that don't have any problems. My mom didn't have any of the problems that I'm having, but my sister did and so did my grandma.

If you've even gotten this far, you probably think that I'm complaining and I just need to buck up. It has been extremely hard, but I have felt a lot of tender mercies along the way and have experienced more joy than I ever have. If anything, the difficulties I'm experiencing have helped me to feel a greater sanctity for life and for the divinity involved in creation. My mom reminded me that women are in partnership with Heavenly Father to bring souls into this world. I'm feeling like the lazy partner right now, but that's OK because my partner is God. I've also learned a lot about faith during this pregnancy. I have a tendency to want to control everything around me, but I have just had to sit back and have faith that God will take care of me and this baby. I've learned a lot about forgiveness, too. Especially how to forgive myself. I've heard of rough times tearing couples apart, but as I have had to depend on Robert for more and more, I feel like our marriage has become stronger. When we got married, I absolutely knew I had made the right decision but didn't really have the foresight to see all of the ways that our marriage would bless both of our lives. I am grateful for my husband and especially grateful for the covenants that bond us together for eternity.

So on those days when I feel like things can't get any worse than they already are, and they do get worse, they also get better because I realize how blessed I am. I also realize that I'm a lot tougher than I thought I was and that I can do harder things than I ever thought I could do. With help. Which is why I have decided to get an epidural ;)

The Burbs

When I moved to Provo from LA, I was expecting Provo to be some sort of Mayberry or wherever Beaver Cleaver lived. Not that anything bad ever happened to me while I was living in LA, except for maybe the one time when there was a drive-by shooting at the gas station on the corner, or the time that we got locked into our elementary school while the police were searching the area for an armed and dangerous fugitive. But those were minor incidents. Provo turned out to be a lot more exciting than I thought it would be and I've seen more action in this town than I have in LA.

People keep asking me if I have any new crazy neighbor stories, and this time it just happens that I do. Remember the people who threw the dirty diapers out on the porch? They moved out. That condo has been unoccupied for some time and the landlord has been around a lot showing people the place. She rejected a lot of people for stupid reasons like having a dog or being Mexican. And then she started harping on me for not taking care of the rose bushes that the previous owner had planted and not picking up trash on the grass. I told her that the last time I checked I paid the HOA $135 a month to do the yard work for me. And then she called the fire marshall to report that the people downstairs had too many children in their condo and that she was sure they were breaking some kind of fire code. Turns out 3 kids in a 3 bedroom condo is just too many in her eyes. And she also keeps calling me Amanda or Amber... no matter how many times I have told her that my name is Jen.

So one day, we hear from another neighbor that the place next door was finally rented. I kept wondering when the people were going to move in because I hadn't seen a truck or any movement really. I could just tell that the light above the stove was on and I'd hear a dog bark every once in a while. I thought that was strange since she turned other people away for having a dog. We'd heard on Friday that someone had moved in and on Saturday there was some sort of commotion going on outside. We opened the door to find 3 police officers standing on the porch between the husband and wife while they hurled insults at each other and their two kids stood by. I heard one officer tell the wife that they were going to take her to jail on some other charges if she didn't pipe down. And she kept yelling at the husband that she had receipts for the iPods that she had and that she didn't steal them. And I must say that they both looked really buzzed on something.

Later that day, we ran into another neighbor at the grocery store and she said that her husband had gone down on Thursday night to ask them to turn off a fan that they'd had running for a long time and that the house smelled like drugs when he walked in. He also said that the husband's eyes were bloodshot and he was having a hard time getting words out. He did, however, manage to get out that the fan was on in order to hide the sound of his wife beating him. I don't know, maybe I'm old fashioned, but telling someone you've just met something like that is awkward.

We heard from the police and other neighbors that the husband was escorted off the property and asked not to come back. The police told us it was just the stress from moving that caused the domestic dispute. Again, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I don't know anyone who has become so stressed from moving that they needed to get the police involved.

Knowing that the husband was gone, I thought it strange when she left her kids home alone that night and didn't come back for several hours. I thought about calling the police, but I wasn't sure how old the kids are and I am pretty sure that I was babysitting when I was 9 or 10. The oldest boy seemed like he was about that age.

Rightly so, people in the complex were angry about the things that had been going on with the new neighbors. Our condos might look like something straight outta 1978, and a little ghetto, but I can tell you that most of the people who live here are not ghetto. We have a neighborhood watch, and other stuff like that. I say most because just yesterday Rob and I saw a drunk guy taking a leak on a tree. And we're not sure that he actually lives here. Anyway, so many people were upset about the new neighbors, that the landlord received a bunch of complaints and decided that she needed to evict the tenants.

She came on a Tuesday and told them that they needed to leave and that they had 24 hours to do it. They told her they'd be gone by 2 pm. At 2:30 pm, there was no stirring in the condo. The landlady came over and apologized to me for renting to such crummy neighbors. I asked her if she'd checked any references or anything before letting them move in and she said that she didn't because they paid her with a check from the church, and she thought that if they were church people they would be good tenants. From what I could tell, there wasn't a whole lotta churchin' going on with those folks. But whatever.

A few minutes later, their door opened and they started carrying things out to their car. They had everything but their food out of the condo within 20 minutes. And they left all of the food. The landlady came over and asked if she could borrow a broom and a dustpan because they had left a mess. I brought it over to her and saw that they'd left more than a mess. It did smell like drugs over there, and laundry detergent. I'm not sure if they did it to be spiteful or to cover up the smell of drugs, but they poured laundry detergent over all of the carpet. Their dog had messed on the carpet, there was a ton of trash on the floor, and holes in the walls. I felt bad that the landlady had to clean all of this up, but not too bad because she should have done a little background check before she let just anyone move in. I offered her our vacuum and gave her some trash bags but didn't stick around because I'm not sure what they were smokin' in there, but I was pretty sure that it wasn't going to be good for our baby.

So what's the moral of the story? Willowbrook knows how to keep it classy. Also, never rent to someone without doing a background check. The other moral of the story is that we need to sell this place and buy a house with no conjoining walls.

How cute is that little baby face? And she likes to bend herself in half with her feet above her head. That's just how she rolls.

Drumroll, please!

Sorry that it's taken me so long to post, but Robert has been sick with something disgusting and awful for the past week and I just haven't had the time. He's sort of better today, but still has a long road in front of him. I'd elaborate, but it's kind of gross. Lets just say there's a lot of sterile gauze and antibiotics involved.

I went in for my level 2 ultrasound on Wednesday to make sure that the baby is OK. I guess I was mistaken in thinking that the 20 week ultrasound was just for finding out the gender of the baby. The tech told me that it's actually just to make sure the baby is developing properly and has all of its organs and limbs and what-not, and that being able to see the gender is secondary to all of the rest.

The tech was taking a lot of measurements and clicking and doing all sorts of stuff, but wasn't really telling me and Robert what she was looking at. I kept saying, "Is that a penis?" She kept telling me that it was just the cord, and that it had 3 vessels, so all was good. I started getting really impatient because a) I had to go to the bathroom really bad and b) I just wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. She started saying things like "Here's your baby's brain," and I would say, "That's nice. Where are my baby's private parts?"

While the tech was not looking for the gender, we got to see some really cool things like the thigh bone and the heart and the kidneys and the chin and lips. Our little baby was hiding its face most of the time, but then at one point it moved both of its hands and we got to see its little face. We're not sure who it resembles yet.

I think our baby got tired of being poked and prodded, so it just turned onto its tummy and wouldn't let the tech see its gender. The tech had me get up and go to the bathroom and move around for a little while, and I also drank some chocolate milk, but the baby still wouldn't move for her. She then said, "You can come back next month and we can try again." I almost started to cry because I felt like I'd been waiting for this moment my whole life, or at least 20 weeks of my life, and then I was going to have to wait more. Luckily, the doctor came in and said that she would try to find the gender.

It took the doctor a little while, but she was able to get a butt shot. There was nothing between the legs, so she said that it was highly likely that we were having a girl. I asked "how likely," and she said, "90% because sometimes boys can hide." She did a little more prodding and then showed us what looked like labia. I hate that word, but whatever. So yeah, we're having a little girl!

We both were positive that we were having a boy, so I think we were both a little shocked at first. We'd spent so much time talking about boy names, and to be honest, it was getting a little hairy because my dad got involved and he was insisting on the name Lee Roy. He said it is very manly. So, I am grateful that we're having a girl because now I don't have to listen to my dad extol the virtues of Lee Roy. And girls are just so cute and fun. And you can dress them in pink and put stuff in their hair. And you won't get pee in your face when you change a girl diaper.

I wish I had some pictures to post, but the ones the tech gave us are so bad that you can't even identify what they are. One is supposed to be a face and the other is supposed to be the crotch, but honestly I can't tell one from the other. And that's a bad thing.

Maybe I can get her to take some better pictures next month. My blood pressure is still a concern, so I need to start seeing the perinatologist once a month and she will do an ultrasound every time. The funny thing is that when I record my blood pressure at home, it's never high. Just at the doctor. The perinatologist is assuming it's just because I am nervous, so she's not going to put me on medication, but my OB is freaking out about it and wants to put me on meds and bedrest right away. I'm not having any symptoms of preeclampsia, so the perinatologist just wants to keep an eye on me and she wants me to keep recording my BP at home. As long as it stays low at home and I don't have any symptoms of preeclampsia, she said I can just keep doing things normally. I hope it stays that way!

The PedEgg & Heeltastic

I decided to review these products together because, as some of you probably know, I have this weird obsession with how my feet look. I had someone say something nasty about my feet when I was a teenager and I've been really diligent in pedicuring them ever since. And now that I'm pregnant, it seems like the nasty feet fairy has visited me and I needed some serious help because I can't keep paying Asian ladies $25 every week to keep my feet soft and callus free.

I tried the Heeltastic first with little results. It promises softer, smoother heels & feet in just days. I guess that would depend on how dry, cracked and callused your feet are to begin with. I used it for a week and didn't get any results except for greasy stains on my sheets near the foot of the bed. And the greasy stuff didn't wash all the way out of the sheets. So, Heeltastic's claim that the product is easily absorbed is not totally accurate. It felt really greasy, and there was even a warning that walking on flat surfaces after applying Heeltastic could be dangerous. It did have a nice odor, kind of herby and fresh, and I liked that it came in a stick applicator like deoderant. I hate having to wash my hands after touching my feet, and with this product I didn't have to worry about that. https://www.buyheeltastic.tv/flare/next?tag=osaf&sisearchengine=55&siproduct=affiliate&clearppc=1

Next I tried the PedEgg. I think this is a great product. It's just as effective as paying Asian ladies to shave the calluses with their crazy blades or cheese graters, but not nearly as uncomfortable or expensive. It really did a good job of getting rid of the rough stuff and smoothing out the calluses. It was easy to use, but it promises that it keeps the dead skin in the little receptacle until you're ready to throw it out. Not so. There was a light dusting of dead skin on the carpet after I'd finished. I had to vacuum. And if you tip it the wrong way, all of the stuff comes pouring out of the holes. Not cool. But other than the mess, it worked great. I would suggest using it outside or in the bathtub. http://www.pedeggtv.com/index9.html

Next I tried using the Heeltastic after I'd used the PedEgg and then putting socks on to keep the greasy stuff on my feet and off of my sheets. I think using the two together is a good combo. The Heeltastic seems to be a little better than lotion at keeping the feet from getting callused again.

So if I were to tell you where to spend your money, I'd say to get the PedEgg instead of the Heeltastic. You can buy replacement blades and other accessories. And I just saw a commercial the other day from Dr. Scholl's and it looks like they've come out with the same thing. I don't know how it compares in price.

PedEgg: A-

$10 at most drug stores

Heeltastic: C+

$10 at most drug stores

As Seen on TV

I'm going to start a blogging series of reviews of "As Seen on TV" products. All of this started last week when my Spanish teacher showed us a Spanish version of the ShamWow! commercial. Hil-ar-ious! Since then, I've been having dreams about ShamWow! and Billy Mays (may he rest in peace). I've decided to turn my dreams into a reality and try these products out. Walgreens and Wal-Mart both have a substantial section of "As Seen on TV" products, so I'll have these at the ready for review. My list so far includes: Wonder Hangers, ShamWow!, HeelTastic, PedEgg, and maybe the Tospy Turvey Tomato Grower. Have you wanted to try some products but aren't sure if they're worth it? Let me know what your ideas are so I can add them to my review series.

Folklore

I'm taking a class right now called American Folklore and for my final project I needed to chose an aspect of what could be considered modern folklore and explore it. I thought it would be a long stretch, but I chose blogging as the aspect I would like to explore and my professor thought it was brilliant. I guess traditional folklorists would only consider stories told face-to-face as actually being folklore, but I think that since technology has come into play, we need to accept that.

So, my project is going to be about blogging and how, as a form of folklore, it represents American values. I need to interview 8-10 bloggers about their blogging experiences, and these experiences will be used in my paper. I only need to do a few of these interviews in person, but the rest can be through e-mail or over the phone. So don't worry if you're not local. I promise it won't take much of your time. If you want to participate, let me know by leaving a comment and I will contact you within the next few weeks for an interview.

Baby Stuff is Tricky

I'm having an incredible urge to buy baby things. I've already picked out a crib and changing table/dresser from IKEA. My sister bought the same one from IKEA and it served Tyler well until just a few years ago. And I don't mean that he was in a crib until he was 5. The crib turns into a toddler bed, so that's a plus. But if we get our way we'll have more than 1 child, so who knows what the plans will be for how long the crib will stay a crib. But as far as other stuff goes, I just don't know what to get. I know absolutely nothing about strollers, car seats, high chairs, baby baths, etc. For the large purchases, I'm not stuck on getting a boy or girl color scheme because I do want things that can be used for either sex. This stuff is pricey, so I'm looking for longevity here. I've already decided that I like primary colors for baby rooms, anyway, and will advertise our baby's gender with its clothes and hair accessories or lack thereof. Hair accessories, that is. Not clothes.

So, I'm sort of stuck. Anyone have any good ideas for where to register for baby things or which brands are more reliable than others? And when should I start getting this stuff?

Too Damn Bad

I realize that this post's title will most likely offend 2/3 of my readers, but I'm in a mood today. Let me tell ya. Most people probably don't know the extent of things, but my pregnancy is considered to be "high risk" because of my blood pressure being high. I've been really blessed that it has stayed low enough for over a month, but there is a likelihood that it will get higher. I guess I have genetics to thank for that. In addition to the "high risk" factor, I start to cramp and bleed whenever I'm on my feet for "too long." The "too long" is arbitrary, because I can't put a specific amount of time on it, I just know when it is happening. So far, the cause of this happening has not been determined. Anyway, one of the triggers seems to be walking the 40 miles from the parking lot at BYU to my classes, carrying 90 lbs of books on my back. Rob's mom suggested that I borrow one of her handicap parking permits so that I can park closer, but somehow I feel guilty about doing that because I'm not a disabled person. I figured that I would follow the rules and request of the parking department that I be able to park in one of the closer lots.

I sent in my request yesterday and received a response this afternoon. It was, by far, the rudest response I have ever received in my life. All BYU had to say was, "sorry, your request has been denied," but instead they sent this long explanation about there being 700 pregnant women on campus at any given time and how I should have thought about the repercussions of getting pregnant while being a student, before I got pregnant. The response also recommended that I maybe not go to school while I'm pregnant if I need special priveleges. I don't know if this is BYU's typical response, or if some parking official just thought this up off the top of his head, but they ought to know better than to send an e-mail like that to a pregnant lady. What bothers me is not the fact that the request was denied. I can work around this, make my own accomodations for not having to walk so far, but the response just added insult to injury.

And everything seems to be adding insult to injury these days. I don't remember getting so upset about the stupidest things before I was pregnant. And I certainly never cared about the cat that I don't like or saving the children. I know it's just the hormones causing me to feel this way but, even in knowing that, I still can't control it.

I just have to keep looking forward to when I will finally have a baby and will also be finished with school. I have 4 classes between me and that diploma, and I will finish it this time... unless I'm put on bedrest, in which case I'll do what I can independent study and go back after the baby is born to take that last dumb Spanish class. And yes, I will take that handicapped permit, thank you.

The Cat's Gotta Go

Anyone in the market for a 4 year old black cat?

That's right, we're going to get rid of Kaydee. I've been hearing all sorts of stories about cats smothering babies in cribs, peeing on baby stuff, and getting downright mean to the baby and the parents when baby comes home. I don't want anything like that to happen to our baby, so we decided we should find a new home for Kaydee. The problem is, every single time I think about just putting her up on KSL or Craig's List, I feel all sorts of trepidation about giving her to a stranger. I'd rather give her to a home that I know will take good care of her and will be aware of all her cat quirkiness. Nobody seems to want a cat, though. I know we still have time, but the longer she is still with us the more I feel bad about giving her away.

A few weeks ago, Kaydee went outside while Rob was loading some stuff into the car. Neither Rob nor I noticed that she went outside, so the door was closed and we both went to bed. I thought I heard some cats fighting that night, but since Kaydee isn't an outside cat, I didn't think it was her. It wasn't until noon the next day that I started to notice that she wasn't around bothering me like usual. I asked Rob if he'd seen her, and he hadn't. Then I heard some meowing and I saw Kaydee come out from under the BBQ. I think she'd been hiding there all night. I opened the door for her and she scurried into the house and hid in the closet for most of the day. And then later that night, we were watching TV and we heard a sound that was almost like a person falling down the stairs. We looked outside and saw Morris, the neighborhood tom cat, right outside the sliding glass door. He was taunting Kaydee and she wanted a serious piece of him. It ocurred to me then and there that I've seen Morris molesting neighborhood cats on previous ocassions, so he probably had molested our cat the night before. No cat should have to go through that.

And now I feel even more guilty about getting rid of Kaydee. Rob keeps telling me that she's only a cat and she'll get over it and so will I, so I just need to make the commitment to give her away. I still want to give her to someone I know will take good care of her, so if you know of anyone who would like a cat please let me know.

Guilty Feeling

Today while I was shopping, I was asked at every single store I went to whether or not I wanted to donate $1 to cure cancer/save the children/cure diabetes. Who doesn't want to cure cancer and diabetes and save the children? But who wants to donate $1 every single time they go shopping? I wish that they would ask the question a different way because when I say no, I always feel guilty and I feel like the cashier probably thinks that I don't want to save the children. I do want to save the children, but I prefer to help in other ways. But then I feel silly giving a long explanation about why I'm not going to donate $1. It's a catch 22, I guess.

Exciting News

This probably isn't news to a lot of you who read my blog, but I bet it's going to be a shocker to some. Robert and I are expecting a baby on October 23! I wanted to wait as long as possible before making a general announcement because of what happened with my last pregnancy, and also because I've had some problems with this pregnancy, too, that I wasn't sure would resolve. Very early on (around 4 weeks) I was having stabbing pains in my side and I feared that I'd had another ectopic pregnancy. I went to the doctor and after a physical exam, he said that it was unlikely that I was having another ectopic, but he sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound just to verify his thoughts. It was amazing to see a yolk sac exactly where it needed to be. It was such a relief. It turns out that I had a massive cyst on one of my ovaries, and the pregnancy hormones were kicking it into high gear. My sister also had this problem during her pregnancy, so it appears to be hereditary. The other good news is that my current doctor doesn't believe that I'd had an ectopic pregnancy last year. He said that the symptoms just didn't fit and that I should have had a second opinion. Hind sight is 20/20, right.

I've also had a lot of cramping and bleeding and some other scares, but all of them turned out to not be such big problems. I have to drink a lot of water, otherwise I get contractions. The cause of the bleeding has never been determined, but my doctor isn't terribly concerned. I also have to realize that I have limitations, which is hard. I keep telling myself that I can do anything I want to, but in reality, it isn't so. I've struggled with it from time to time, but I know that growing this baby is the most important thing I can do, and I'm grateful for the opportunity.

Rob and I just feel so blessed. I won't go into details, but this whole pregnancy has been the closest thing to a miracle that I've ever experienced in my life. One thing that I will tell you about is my high blood pressure. At about 8 weeks, I went to the doctor because I'd gotten either food poisoning or the stomach flu and could not keep anything in me. I noticed that for the 4th time in a row, my blood pressure seemed to be high. No one ever said anything about it, so I asked the doctor and he looked at my records and said that he was not comfortable with how high my blood pressure was, but that it was most likely not related to my pregnancy. I do have a family history of high blood pressure, so he thinks it is related to that. He sent me to a peri-natologist who told me that I'd be on medication for it within a month, and that my risk for pre-eclampsia or toxemia were higher than someone who'd had normal blood pressure, and that I'd most likely be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. I was really scared about the whole thing and prayed like I'd never done that things would turn out OK. And guess what? So far, my blood pressure has been normal for the last month. Nothing short of a miracle.

We'll find out in 4-5 weeks whether we're having a girl or a boy, but my inner feelings say it is a boy. I guess only time will tell.

Funny Stuff From Costco

The other day, Rob and I ventured off to Costco between conference sessions. I love Costco for so many reasons. I just wish I had a camera or my phone with me on this particular day, because I saw and heard some pretty funny things.

There was a group of people there, all women, who were wearing shirts that said "Team Jacob... Because Edward Bites."

Can I start a "Team Charlie... Because He's a Real Man" club? Let me know if you want to be a part of this club, and I'll get some shirts made and we can all go to Costco at the same time.

Costco was also giving samples of their new (but really are old and they just haven't sold them in years) cinnamon rolls, and the lady handing out the samples says to me and Rob, "Have a cinnamon roll. They're not to die for, they're to live for!"

The funny part about the whole thing is that she didn't sound very enthusiastic. She actually sounded like the people who work at the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. You know what I'm talking about, right?

There was other stuff I found funny, but would probably end up offending someone in my retelling of the story, so I'll leave them out.

What's some of the funny stuff you've seen at Costco lately?

Why We Never Have to Turn on the Heat

There are 22 lightbulbs in one room... some of them halogen.

The TV helps create some heat, too... When all of the lights and TV are on, the temperature in the room raises by about 8 degrees.

Expats

I'm not so sure how I feel about all of these Olympians renouncing citizenship in their country and seeking citizenship in another just so they can compete in the Olympics. Especially when one of them is a 15 year old girl who renounces her US Citizenship to be an ice dancer for the country of Georgia. Weigh in.

Happy Valentine's Day!

When Robert was in the hospital, I went to Target and bought some Dove chocolate hearts because they were on sale... and I wanted them. I guess Dove had some sort of flash of something and decided to get Martha Stewart to put the sayings on the inside of the wrapper. The sayings are things such as:

"Use pink bed linens for that romantic night."

"Use heart shaped floral foam to make a heart shaped floral arrangement."

"Use ribbon to embelish a box of chocolates."

"Store Valentine chocolate in a cool, dry place."

For reals, Martha?

I'm just wondering whose idea it was to do that.

Anyway, my Valentine's Day has been great. Robert and I went to the temple last night and then out to dinner. Today, we slept in and then came home from church and Robert grilled salmon and asparagus and I made a chocolate crock pot cake. Except that my cake burned to a crisp during the time we were at church and filled the whole house with smoke. I think my crock pot settings should be re-labeled as Atomic and Sub-Atomic because the directions said to cook it for 6-8 hours on low or 3-4 on high. I put it on low right before we went to church and we were only gone for 3 hours. I'll have to figure out an adjustment on that recipe.

And now we're watching figure skating. Can life get any better?

What's an Appendix for Anyway?

As some of you probably already know, Robert had to have an emergency apendectomy last week.

As long as I have known Robert, he has always had an aversion to certain smells, usually strong perfume, cologne or lotion, and told me that it causes a violent reaction in him where he has terrible pains in his stomach and has to throw up or gets bad gas or a myriad of other nasty problems. We've had to get up and move during church a few times because of this.

Before Christmas, Robert had one of these attacks but as he predicted, the pain went away after a few days and he was fine. And then 2 Sundays ago, he came home from a Stake Priesthood meeting and said that he'd been sitting by a guy who was wearing some stinky cologne and he wasn't feeling very well. He went to bed and got up at the crack of dawn to go to school, so I didn't really get to see how he was doing that morning. I went about doing my stuff and around 2 pm I got a call from him saying he was in severe pain and he was coming home from work. When he got home, he looked bad. He went straight to bed but then started throwing up blood so I made him go to the doctor.

The doctor examined him and said he wasn't sure what was going on because Robert had the signs of appendicitis all except for the pain caused by "the release test." That's where the doctor pushes down where the appendix is and then lets up really fast and it's supposed to hurt like heck. When the doctor did it to Robert, he was like "yeah, that kinda hurts." So, the doctor scheduled Robert for a CT scan the next morning to find out what was happening. He also prescribed Robert something called "GoLytely" in case his pain was caused by constipation. I went to our favorite Walgreen's to pick it up and our favorite pharmacist Jared says, "Um, you're gonna need to come into the store to get this one because it's too big to fit in the drawer," as he is holding up a huge container of what looks like something you'd find in the garden center at Walmart. Robert didn't want to take it, and I don't blame him, so we returned it.

The next morning at the CT scan, we were told to stick around for a little bit so that someone could read the scan. Within a few minutes, a nurse came out and said "you have appendicitis. You need to go to the hospital for surgery right now. We have your doctor on the line." And that was it. He was in surgery within 2 hours.

I've never been so scared in my whole life. I can handle myself needing surgery, but I was really worried about Robert. Thankfully, he, and his appendix came out OK. The surgeon said that it is very rare, but there are people who do have chronic appendicitis. He said that Robert's appendix was just 1 or 2 days away from being gangrenous.

Robert has been recovering pretty well from the surgery. He doesn't really need to take the pain meds anymore, but now he seems to have some nasty sort of infection in his legs and feet. We're not sure if it's from the surgery or secondary to it. He's being treated with antibiotics now and we're really hoping that it's nothing serious.

We also hope that we can stay away from hospitals for a while, unless we're visiting someone who just had a baby or having one ourselves. For as much as we've been at Utah Valley lately, you'd think they'd give us some kind of VIP Parking or at least free drink refills in the cafeteria.

This One's for You, Mal!

The cat has a really bad habit of needing to do her business right as Robert and I are saying our prayers or getting in to bed. Every single night! And since the litter box is in the bathroom attached to our bedroom, sometimes it gets really smelly. One night last week, just as I knelt down to pray, I heard the cat go into the bathroom and I could hear her scratching and moving the litter around. I finished my prayer and shut the bathroom door in a way that if she really needed to get back in there, she just needed to push it open. Robert and I both go to sleep and after a while, I started hearing meows right and left. I thought the cat wanted to play because she likes to do that after she finishes her business and we're already in bed for the night. I ignored it and went to sleep. During the night, I kept hearing meowing and things crashing, but I thought that the neighbors were up to something and I just get to the point where I don't listen to the meows. I was also having really strange dreams, and somehow all of the noises played into my dreams.

At about 3 am, I woke up because I was hot and needed to take my socks off and heard the meowing again. I realized that Kaydee was not meowing from the other room, the neighbors weren't making noises, and that my dreams had nothing to do with either, but that I had shut Kaydee into the bathroom! I shut the door in a way that she could get in if she needed to, but she couldn't get out. I opened the door and saw her curled up in the sink meowing her little heart out.

She's been ignoring me for about a week now.

My Run-in With the Feds

I got a phone call yesterday from a man who said he worked for the FBI and that he needed to ask me some questions about someone I know. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't get these kinds of phone calls every day. OK, I don't get these kinds of phone calls ever! So, as you can imagine I was more than cooperative in clearing my schedule to talk to this guy.

And then I started getting a little scared, because after talking to a few people, they said that maybe this guy wasn't legit because the FBI doesn't make appointments, they just find you and come to your house. I was shaking like a leaf when I finally met this guy. He turned out to be completely legit, with a badge and his credentials with the title 'Special Agent" on it. I was a little disappointed because he looked more like Mack Wilberg than Agent Mulder. We sit down and he tells me that the reason for his visit is because the individual in question was applying for a job within the FBI and in order to get Top Secret security clearance, he had to have an exhaustive background check done. He told me that he's talking to pretty much everyone this individual has ever known in his entire life.

He began the interview by telling me that if I lied about anything he asked me that I could be prosecuted. Scary! He then asked me if this person had any addictions or perversions that I knew of, whether he had money problems, family problems, terrorist connections, or had ever been out of the country. He also asked me if this person had ever lied to me. I wish I had some exciting answers for him, but I only worked with the guy for a few years, and as far as I could tell, the only questionable thing about him was that he really liked to play McDonald's Monopoly so he ate lunch there every day.

My exciting story ended up not being exciting at all. But at least now I can say that I've been interrogated by the FBI if I ever play that 2 truths and a lie game.

Resolution Re-Cap

Remember when I said that one of my only resolutions for this new year was to be nicer? Yeah, me too. I remember this because even though I'm trying, it's not going very well. My mouth has gotten me into more trouble this week than I can even count on both hands. I might as well write a copy of "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People." I'm not joking. And the thing is, I don't even try to be mean. Do I come by it naturally? Perhaps.

I'm taking a class right now called Modern American Usage. Mostly we do nerdy stuff like read dictionaries and discuss whether one can/may use further when farther is actually what is called for. Very nerdy. People argue in class. Even nerdier. Or should I use more nerdy? I don't know, let me consult my dictionaries. Anyway, the other day we talked about dialects and how they evolve. One of the specific dialects we discussed was Yiddish. Although Yiddish is mostly dead as a dialect - only a handful of people still speak it- it has now evolved into what is called American Jewish. Anyway, even though the dialect has died many words still stick around. I bet you didn't know it, but tush is yiddish for bottom. Yiddish is also a very sarcastic and sardonic dialect, and the sacrasm has lived on in people, who although may not speak Yiddish, still speak in the same manner in which Yiddish is spoken. I could write a paper about it, but I won't. I guess the point is that this sarcasm is learned... it's a trait passed down through generations where ancestors spoke Yiddish. This led me to think that perhaps I am the way that I am because of my ancestors. I'm not aware of any Jewish heritage in my line, but then again, until the day my grandmother went to her grave, she swore up and down that she was 100% Irish Catholic. She's not only rolling over in her grave right now, but I'm sure she's having one heck of a time fraternizing with her 100% German ancestors in Spirit Prison. I need to research this line, because if there's German there may be Jewish in there, too.

Still, I shouldn't be following the traditions of my fathers. Right? I need to teach my mouth and my brain to work differently. And since I only know of 2, maybe 3 people in this world who actually like me for my frankness and sarcasm, perhaps now is a good time to change. A good friend always quotes someone's dead grandma by saying "There are three doors: Truth, kindness, and necessity. Everything you say must go through at least two of the three doors. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" This needs to be my motto from now on. This will be my motto from now on.

To any I've offended with my words this week, please forgive me and know that I'm trying to do better. I really am. I started yesterday, but then today my mouth got me into trouble again. I used a bad Yiddish word in class, ecxept I didn't know it was that bad. Baby steps, right?