So You Think You Can Drink

Last night I went over to my friend Heidi's house for a viewing of my favorite summer show, "So You Think You Can Dance." This show is awesome, but this post will not be dedicated to discussing the awesomeness of the show. What I want to talk about first is the Salt Lake auditions. Quel embarrassing! I feel as if the editors chose every weirdo in the state to feature, except for maybe the girl whose mother was the "High School Musical" choreographer.

First off, mom of four? You've got to be kidding me! I just hope that when I get married my husband will love me enough to be 100% honest and say, "honey, I didn't marry you for your dancing ability. Please do not go on national television and bring shame and dishonor to this family." And then there was the floating pants lady who was obviously in a world of her own. I feel bad for her. Really bad. And then the guy who is a strip club DJ. I don't know much about DJing, but something tells me that strip club DJing is probably not all that prestigious among the DJing community. He could have just said he was a DJ. And speaking of strip clubs, I didn't even know that Utah had any strip clubs. My guess is that it's in West Valley or Taylorsville. The thing is, I know that Utah has some amazing dancers. Why couldn't they show the really amazing, normal dancing people? I would have appreciated seeing some cloggers, because cloggers rock!

I know that I am going to offend at least 3 people who read my blog by saying this, but I don't care. I have never professed myself as being politically correct. After watching the auditions last night, I can see why the rest of the country calls people from Utah "Utards." The name totally fits. And the ironic thing is that the guy with Downs Syndrome was probably the best guy that tried out. I loved him!

OK, so I vented about how badly Utahns were portrayed. Now I want to talk about judge Mary Murphy. I think she hits the sauce. Hits it liberally and frequently. There's just something not right about her and I think it is due to alcohol. Last night, someone in the group pointed out that she brought out a flask as the camera shifted away from her. I have a suspicion that it wasn't Gatorade. If you look at her mouth in the picture above, it never changes expression. All teeth, all the time. I think it's a direct result of drunkenness. I want to start a Facebook group called "There's Something About Mary... and It's Probably the Booze." This group will be dedicated to intervening on Mary's behalf to get her into AA or some other 12 step program. She's in LA and my parents are group facilitators for an addiction recovery program down there. Maybe they can help. Let's all help Mary!

I know this post is a rambling one, but I just had to get all of the trauma of last night's episode off my chest. I think that in order to preserve my sanity, I can't watch the show until we're past the auditions. I can't handle watching other people embarrass themselves and I can't handle the judges being "way harsh" on them. Wake me up when the auditions are over.