TMI Pharmacist

Our house has just been full of sickies (not sickos) this week. First, Rob hasn't been doing so well after his cat bite. We don't know if it's "cat poisoning" or the side-effects of the tetanus shot and antibiotics. It could also just be the flu - probably the swine variety, knowing our luck. And I started feeling funny on Monday and by Wednesday it ocurred to me that there may be something wrong with my bladder. I called my doctor, but he was out of town until next week so I decided I'd take my chances with the InstaCare. We'd already been there with Rob's cat bite, so I was really hoping that the same people wouldn't be there because I didn't want them to think that I'm one of "those" people who just goes to the doctor all of the time for no reason. I had no such luck. The receptionist was the same, the doctor was the same, the nurse was the same. Everyone was the same.

After peeing in a cup, I went back to the exam room and waited for the doctor to come in. He enters, and says "how do I know you? Are we in the same ward down in Springville?" I could have just played along, but I reminded him that I was the lady who came in with the cat bite man. He started laughing, and said, "that's right. I'd never seen a grown man who'd been bit by a cat before." I'm not sure if that was a jab at my husband's manliness, but that comment kind of put me in a bad mood. As we're sitting there, the door opens and 2 other people walk in and ask if they can observe because they're medical students. At this point, I figure I might as well let myself be their entertainment for the evening. The lady student starts asking me questions and poking my abdomen a little too hard and then says "I see that you're a diabetic from the presence of ketones in your urine." I get really defensive when people accuse me of being diabetic, because, well, I'm not diabetic. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I get that a lot. So, that's what I said to her, "I get that a lot." I'm glad that the doctor stepped in and told her that I was probably dehydrated, and that she shouldn't assume that because I take a medication normally given to diabetics, that I am a diabetic. Because if he hadn't said something, I would have and it wouldn't have been nice, given the fact that she was poking me. Meanwhile, the other guy just stood there staring at me like I had a booger hanging out of my nose. Turns out I did. Oops.

I won't tell you the rest of that story because, frankly, it's too gross, even for me, and kind of long. Needless to say, I got a prescription for some antibiotics and a pain reliever and was on my way. I'm loving that the InstaCare and Walgreens are across the street from each other and both just blocks away from my home. I went in to drop of the prescription and the same pharmacist from Saturday was there. And let me tell you, this guy is interesting. Had I not had the pleasure of meeting him on Saturday, I don't know that I would have been so excited that he was there. I knew I was in for a treat. Let me describe him. He's probably 6 feet tall. He's what I would call "rotund," but in a cute sort of way. If he wasn't working at a pharmacy, you'd swear he was 12 years old because he has a baby face and very patchy facial hair. Think of that Spencer dude from the Hills and imagine him 100 pounds heavier, and there you have this guy! Except that it's Spencer wearing a white vest, a nice tie underneath, and a nametag. Now that you've got a picture in your mind of his looks, I'll give you a personality. Andy Bernard from The Office. Quite a combo, right?

There was someone in line behind me while I was dropping the prescription off, so at first it was just the normal customer/pharmacist convo. I walked around the store for a while as I was waiting, but the manager started following me around (I assume he thinks I was trying to shoplift) so I went back to the pharmacy area and sat down. Pharmacist Spandy called me over (on the loudspeaker, I might add) to get my prescription and he asks "so, what's this antibiotic for?" I told him it was for a bladder infection, and he says "ahh, I see. It's a pretty strong one, so I thought it was for something like that, or an STD." What do you say to that? I just looked at him and said "I have a strict 'no STD' policy in my house." He laughed and then recommended I get a probiotic to counteract the effects of this medication. I told him that I already had some at home, thinking he'd ring me up and I'd be on my way. But no, he just had to tell me about the time he took this antibiotic and how it gave him the runs so bad that he had to cancel his cruise. As an aside, he told Rob the last time that we were there that he should use chainmail gloves to bathe the cat, just like cooks on cruise ships use so they don't cut their fingers off. You learn something new everyday!

For all of this guy's quirkiness, he sure is likeable. And even though he spouts off TMI ('Too Much Information' for all of you non-abbreviators) like there's no tomorrow, there's just something about him that is fun. I've been laughing about him for the past few days, and now I found that someone else has discovered him. I was reading CJane today and she posted about the same pharmacist. I see that he is not stingy with sharing his wierdness with the world. You can read about her encounter here.

I usually use the drive-thru at Walgreens, but never again. I'm looking forward to my next visit with Pharmacist Spandy.