My love/hate relationship with IKEA

I love IKEA, but I hate IKEA. Last weekend I decided that I needed a dresser and that IKEA would be the best place to go. I went there and found the dresser of my dreams, but of course it wasn't in stock. I left feeling depressed and down-trodden, but then chippered right back up when I realized I could buy it online. And then I got depressed about it again. IKEA wanted over $300 to ship a dresser that only costs $279. Gosh! Could life get any worse?

Well, it could get worse but I had my little heart set on the dresser so I decided to keep a vigil on IKEA.com to see when the dresser was back in stock. I checked Monday morning and there were 4 in stock, so I had to go up there immediately. I called upon my faithful friends, Bob and Marcia, to come with me because I knew it was going to be heavy and I was going to need some help lifting it. So after a stop at Carl's Jr. for some sustenance, we made our way up to Draper and parked in the "family friendly" lot. I don't know what that means, but it was closer to the door and pretty empty.

We did the obligatory walk around the showroom because it seems like you always miss something the first time around. This gave me the opportunity to make more impulse buys, in addition to the impulse buys from Saturday. I started doing the math in my head and my heartburn flared up but I convinced myself that I really needed the purple, polka-dotted bath mat.

By the time the guilt and buyer's remorse subsided, we were down to the part of the store where we pick things up. Luckily, they had 2 dressers left. Not so luckily, the boxes were huge and I didn't think they would fit in my car. I was so sad and I started pouting as my friends walked down the aisle with their dresser in its little box that would fit nicely in the trunk. How was I going to get this dresser? I had this grand idea of buying it and then having them hold it for me until I could go back up with a bigger car to get it. Yes, this would work!

"No, this will not work, " I was told by the scary IKEA guy - and I do mean scary. If I were to do a film version of Goethe's Faust, I would cast him as Mephistopheles. I'm not kidding. He had a strange little gotee and many piercings and tattoos (probably more that couldn't be seen), but he had a kind, gentle voice. Um, yeah. I don't know what else to say about that. Meanwhile, back on the ranch... IKEA guy said that they don't have anywhere to put items that have been purchased. I think he could see the pain of not being able to get my dresser coursing through every fiber of my being, so he said he could make an exception and hold the dresser for a day or so in the "assembly" room. Yes!

Bob and Marcia took the cart and went back for the dresser while I waited with IKEA guy and had awkward conversation about how classy of a store IKEA was. I felt like I was in an alternate universe having a "classy" conversation with Mr. Mephistopheles. I was so glad when Bob and Marcia strolled up with the dresser so that we could get the heck out of there.

After ringing up, I thought we should at least try to get the dressers in the car. I seemed to remember that I had the world's best box management expert with me and that one time I bought a queen sized mattress set at Costco and brought it home on the roof of my Honda Accord. If I could do that, I could do anything! So, miracle of miracles, we got not only my huge dresser, but Bob and Marcia's dresser + all of the other junk I bought into the car with the trunk closed! Now, the only question was about where Marcia was going to sit. On top of the boxes in the back, of course. Don't worry, Marcia was wearing a seatbelt.

We made the trip home successfully and my boxes are safely stored in the hallway until I have some time to put the dresser together. And thus begins another adventure...